The Owl's Perch

Spiritual Warriors Respond to Spiritual Crises

Sunday, January 07, 2018

First Be Kind - Practicing Kindfulness!

Sunday, April 23, 2017

The Rooster's Sunrise

Sunday, March 05, 2017

Those Who are Different than Me

Sunday, February 05, 2017

Fifty Shades of Gentleness

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Unconditional Gentleness

Sunday, October 09, 2016

I’m in the midst of a deep and thorough internal re-wiring process. For most of my life I was proud of how hard I drove myself, the high standards to which I held myself and others, and my ability to get through just about anything. Alone these aren’t good or bad traits. What’s being rewired is the force with which I push myself. I’m giving gentleness a try and finding some pretty incredible results.

My internal conversation used to sound something like this: “Well, that was a mistake! Now, what caused it to happen, how did I contribute and what did I learn?” With a very subtle “you dummy” in the background after each question, I’d dig into the answers. What usually happened is I’d never find a real solution, meaning or lesson because the harsh judgment made me keep digging and digging – often starting around 3am every night.
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How to Disappoint Others and Still Excel Professionally

Sunday, September 04, 2016

You may notice that I didn't publish my monthly blog in June or July this year. It's been a very full summer! And, it's disappointing not to get to the things that mean the most. I have a story (see last month's post) that I lose credibility, lose readership and appear checked out. On the contrary, I'm fully engaged in my professional growth, most especially with a "Warriors for the Human Spirit" tribe I'm learning with over an 18 month period. Lots to learn!

This month I’m reposting an excellent article that was also a key part of my bi-monthly newsletter, “News Thought Leaders Can Use” in August. That article received so many thoughtful responses, it deserves to be read again. The article is about being okay with (mindfully) disappointing people by practicing generous self-care (yes, that's what I've been up to this summer!).

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The Stories We Tell Ourselves

Sunday, August 07, 2016

Typically, facts are things I see with my own eyes or can externally verify as true. Often confused with those facts are my interpretations of them. Recently, several members of an executive team I started working with started a sentence in our meeting with, “The story I tell myself is…” I quickly realized they had learned an important lesson between facts and stories.

As a conflict resolution tool, I often encourage people to discuss the differences between their perspectives. Beyond a “he said, she said” exchange, I’m looking for a willingness to understand there may be nuances or variations on what is “true.” While helpful, the dialogue often becomes a frustrating battle to see who can prove their version of the truth to be more worthy. So now I’m trying something new with the hint from the new executive team.

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Sunday, May 15, 2016

One of the most needed elements in effective leadership and resolving conflict is self-compassion. This defies what we think makes leaders successful: an endless supply drive and ambition. For most of my life, I’ve taken great pride in how “hard” on myself I am. I used to see my drive as a part of maintaining high standards, moral excellence and a rigidly defined sense of integrity. But my biggest failures taught me those are neither enough nor sustainable.

Having focus and determination are great qualities when aimed in the right direction. But resilience is even better. It allows the failure to be a teacher. Recovery is the ability to get back up more times than getting knocked down.

So what I’m learning is that the most needed quality that gives drive and determination a competitive advantage – is self-compassion. It’s like they say in the practice of Tai Chi: become like a needle wrapped in cotton. Solid core, gentle packaging. Self-compassion notices when judgment and criticism are present. It takes a warrior’s bravery to deny the inner critic a voice. But it takes his courageous heart to make friends with it. Self-compassion becomes an ally once it’s a habit.

Now, I still get to be ambitious, resilient and recover quickly. Because I’m learning to not be so hard on myself, my recoveries are quicker. What’s next? Learning how to extend that level of compassion to those closest to me. I think it can only happen after I’m truly kind to myself. I’ll let you know how it goes. Read More >

The Modern Day Warrior

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Can there be more than one warrior in the room at the same time? This question came up recently in a conversation with a dear friend and colleague – what happens when two “warriors” show up at the same time? Who gets to be the dominant one? And this question got me thinking about what the modern day warrior is up to.

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Assoc Conflict Res Bosi Certified Partner Center for Right Relation Coaches Training Institute ICF Leadership Circle Team Coaching Int Vistage Chair